"I don't need to go to the hospital because all of my executive functions are intact and I have no cranial nerve dysfunction" -What a neuroscientist says when asked if she is alright.

Dear friends,
Let me preface this by saying that I am fine, although it appears this being clumsy thing is a new lifestyle choice rather than a once in a while occurrence. Let me follow that by saying it really has been a month (and a few days) since my last post so probably don't believe me when I say I'm going to post more often or not let a full month go by without a post. And let me follow that by saying that this is as good of a time as any to write at least a little bit so here goes.

I'm sitting at home on our couch with my foot elevated and covered in an ice pack. I was planning to be at work this afternoon after a lovely bike ride to church. The lovely bike ride stopped short when I took a tumble between a bridge railing and a "Sidewalk Closed" sign. I know, I know...what was I doing riding past a sidewalk closed sign? Well, I thought I was being smart by avoiding all the pedestrians on the other side of the bridge. Harumph. So much for that.

Anyways, long story kind of short, my hand/handlebar hit the railing, I put my foot down to stop, my foot decided it wanted to be unbalanced and I fell over, my bike fell over on me, I hit my head (but I was wearing a helmet!!) and I laid there for a few minutes not really knowing what to do and maybe saying a few *colorful* words. Like goshdarnit and skiddlderink.

Or others.

And then some nice people stopped to help me. But it turns out my foot was more painful than I expected and upon trying to stand up, I noted some massive light-headedness, started making my way to the ground and found the ground quicker than I wanted to because next thing I knew I was waking up in a very confused state and being told that I had passed out. Gosh darn it, body. You knew you were hurt and just didn't want to face that fact. So you passed out, had a super weird dream full of electroswing music and woke me up nice and gently to the knowledge that an ambulance was coming for me. Great.

The ambulance did come. As did a firetruck. And a police car. The latter two were sent away quickly (thank goodness!) and the paramedics stayed with me long enough to make sure I was no longer light headed, my blood pressure was fine (quite good, in fact! for having just passed out) and my ankle is mainly swollen and likely twisted a bit. But besides that I was fine. So I refused (nicely) to go to the hospital, I signed the necessary forms, and the ambulance left and I hobbled away with my bike. Thanks to good advice from family and help from good friends, I made it home and am now recovering. Man, it wasn't exactly the way I pictured this day would happen. But, like I told the nice paramedic that was helping me, there could have been worse ways for us to meet.

On to bigger and more exciting things, the school year is wrapping up. I cannot believe it. Without wanting to speak too soon, I will say that in 3 weeks I will have *probably* made it through my first year in graduate school. I can't even begin to describe how much I've learned and how glad I am that I am here.

As soon as the school year finishes...well, technically before it finishes, I will be off to Europe for "Michael and Rachel's Epic European Adventure!" Yeeeeaaaahhh, that was as catchy of a title as I could come up with. Let me know if you have any better ideas. It's currently the title for my itinerary, my planner and my special European playlist. We've got all the necessary items planned (except for my train tickets....I really hope those come in the mail soon) and I've even started packing a bit. I'll be toting a rad hiking backpack and another over-the-shoulder bag. Really hoping I can fit 2 1/2 weeks worth of clothes in there. Guess this means I can't bring any textbooks ;)  Actually, to my great fortune, my mom is letting me borrow her iPad so I'll sometimes have internet access and I can pre-load some maps and useful apps on there. I can even put papers for work on there so I can read on the plane and train. But I'll just admit it, I will not be reading those while on the beach :)

Here is our official schedule in case you are interested.....

--May 16th fly to Copenhagen and stay with Danish host families (this is literally the part I'm excited for the most-- I miss my host family so much!!)
-- May 20 fly to Innsbruck, Austria
--May 23 train to Florence, Italy (we are staying at an Olive farm...an Olive grove?..an Olive...I don't know what to call it but it's going to be awesome!)
--May 26 train to Cinque Terre (five beautiful little cities along the Italian riviera)
--May 29 train to Nice, France
--June 1 fly to Barcelona
--June 4 I fly back to the US and Michael continues his trip in Barcelona for another day and then to Paris about the time that I'll be back at work


I suppose I better wrap this up so I can get at least a fraction of the work done that I had planned for today. Hope this finds you enjoying the beautiful weather. Happy Iowa spring...finally!!


Vi ses!
Rachel

Snow break 2013

It's nearing the end of spring...er, snow break. It's a beautiful winter wonderland outside right now, which is giving me more motivation to drink hot chocolate and write this LONG OVERDUE blog post than to study the hypothalamus. I have 14 days until my next medical neuroscience exam. I'll start studying tomorrow ;)

I feel a little guilty about how long it's been since I've written, especially since I've technically been on spring break for over a week now. But somehow that week filled up very quickly and I didn't find much extra time to sit and reflect. During the first weekend I packed up my childhood room. That included a lot of reminiscing, sorting, tossing and packing boxes as efficiently as I could. It was very weird to see the finished product: boxes filling the space beneath my big wooden loft, empty walls (except for the awesome pink, purple and green paint job my family did for me when I was about 8), a pretty empty closet, and just my bed left with sheets, blankets and pillows that will wait until later to be packed. I found some great stuff while cleaning- a high school journal full of angsty entries and epic poems (that have been shredded and really never deserved to see the light of day in the first place), a crisp $20 bill from my Grandma Audrey and Grandpa Darrell for my 8th grade graduation, some report cards (one of which told me I got a 3 (out of 4) for "uses scientific process correctly" HA!), Danish money that will soon be packed to travel back to Denmark with me in May, a shirt I used to love that said "My Space is the pool"......get it?? :P  and, finally, lots of pictures. Of family and of friends. And they all made me smile. Even the ones from middle school when my hair was goofy and my glasses were nerdy.

I'm glad I had a goal. I knew what needed to be done. I needed boxes packed and ready to go to the new house (by the way, my mom bought a new house, for anyone who doesn't know yet. haha). For the record, my new room is going to be sweet. It's going to have 3 light grey walls and one dark grey walls. I picked the colors :)  Anyway, I'm glad I had a goal because otherwise I might've found packing up my childhood room to be more painful. It's sad, of course, to have things changing. It's especially sad in these circumstances, to know that dad would have enjoyed this process, and he would love the new house. And so it's hard to get away from feeling like we're leaving our memories of him there. In the house where we shared all that love and joy and time together.  But we're not leaving it there. We're bringing all the memories and love and laughter with us. To another place that we can make a home. A place we will come for years and years to celebrate holidays or just for the heck of it, because we love to be together.

Back to the things I found in my room. Holy cow, I was more of a teenager than I thought at the time. I will admit, most of the time I found myself to be at least somewhat superior to the average high schooler. I didn't have mood swings (because I was apparently always a bit of a downer), I always did all of my work (because I thought that that was the measure of my self worth), I cared little if people actually liked me (and lots of them didn't) as long as they respected me (and probably only some of them did) and I had surprisingly dark thoughts (I wrote a whole entry in my sophomore english class journal about whether I'd ever have a near-death experience and that maybe it would make life seem less meaningless-- yikes!).  I guess I wasn't as immune to the woes of being a teenager as I thought I was. But I'm pleased to announce that I think I've turned out ok. Thus far, at least.  My perspective on life is much different now and for that I am very grateful. Knox has toned me down a bit (which was definitely for the better) and Denmark has made me more adventurous and Iowa City has made me more responsible, but also more fun :) I find great joy in having the chance to work out, the chance to spend time with my friends, the chance to have one glass of wine with dinner. Those are things young Rachel Clark might not have stood for (the working out, yes. the wine, no).  Anyways, this post wasn't supposed to be all about me. I don't know what it was supposed to be about though, so I hope you enjoyed it.

Onto the upcoming events of life. Starting tomorrow life is going to get a little crazy. The next few weeks include our second med neuro exam, an oral presentation for a conference on campus (which I have yet to create), a draft of my section of a review paper our lab is writing, a few projects for classes, starting an experiment with our newly developed iPad app, giving my "rotation talk" for neuroscience seminar, a trip to San Francisco for the Cognitive Neuroscience Society Conference, a visit from my Europe travel-buddy Michael (which will inevitably include more planning for our epic trip!), our second lab exam for med neuro and....that's as far as I can see. Just a few weeks beyond that and it will be finals and then I will be in Europe. Phew! Okay, so I just have this feeling that all of that is going to go very quickly. I kind of already can't believe how quickly this first year in grad school has gone. But then I think about how little I knew before I started about the kind of work I'd be doing and it feels like a lot of years have been crammed into these few months.

OH! Earlier I mentioned that the first weekend was me packing up my room. That was supposed to lead into how this weekend was spent with a trip to Waverley to see Abby and Kyle and that I thoroughly enjoyed my sister (and brother-in-law) time. I don't want to brag too much but I kind of have the best sister and brother-in-law. We went shopping, slept in, ate good food, watched movies, ate more good food, did homework/real work and pretty much I didn't ever want to leave. Not a bad problem to have, if I do say so myself. I'm just grateful they are within driving distance and that they like me enough to let me crash at their place for a weekend :)

I think the hypothalamus really is calling my name now. Until next time... (I'll try really hard for it to not be a whole month before I write again! That was ridiculous. Seriously. I'm sorry it's been so long. For how much I enjoy writing these, you'd think I'd do it more often. )

Stay safe in that lovely spring weather out there and enjoy the end of the week, because it might actually get up to 45 degrees!

Hej hej!

Oh sorry, you're not Rachel!

Ok I will get back to the fact that I haven't written in a rather long time and why exactly that has been but first!...my good story of the week:

On Friday I was walking past the hospital on my way to my medical neuroscience class and I had one headphone in as per usual, listening to this awesome podcast I'm obsessed with (Hey Mister Jesse. It's a swing, jazz and blues music podcast, hence my obsession) Anywho, so in the midst of my swing, jazz and blues, I hear someone yell out "Rachel!" It took me a few seconds longer than should have been necessary to realize someone was yelling at me (I think I still feel slightly invisible/unknown on this large campus...compared to Knox at least) so I do finally turn around and this girl emerges from behind some columns I had walked past a minute ago. Our paths were perpendicular, but she must have seen me as I crossed in front of the columns. So we are kind of far away at this point and when I turn around, I start wracking my brain to figure out how I recognize her. She's too far away to really tell her facial expression but it immediately went a little sour and she kind of raised her arms to brush away the fact that I had turned around. She stumbled over the words "Oh...sorry! You're...not Rachel." 

ummm.....but yes I am! Unfortunately we were too far away for me to ease her embarrassment by laughing about how "well, actually I am Rachel! But, apparently not the Rachel you mistook me for?" So all in all it was awkward. She probably felt it was more awkward for her, but I feel it was more awkward for me because she mistook me for...being me! Or some other Rachel. I guess I'm not the only one on this campus. 

Back to why I kind of stink at writing my blog on a regular basis. It's because I have too many awesome things to do. Which ultimately takes up a lot of time...but also gives me so many stories that it's overwhelming to pick just a few. I really am taking a greater number of classes right now than last semester and they are somehow just keeping me very busy. But they are fantastic! My medical neuroscience class is a more in-depth study of the brain, spinal cord, vascular system, you name it, than I have ever had. And I'm just eating it up. Except not really. And that's a bad joke to make because we just saw a real spinal cord/vertebral column in lab the other day and well....to put it crudely, the surrounding tissue looked a whole lot like chicken. Or pulled pork. Which surprised me. Because the brain doesn't look like either of those things. And so it was very strange for me to see a part of the body that is not grey or white matter. But don't get me wrong, it was not appetizing. Not in the very least. In fact, I often can't eat until about 1 pm on lab days, when lab gets done at 11:30, because I can't quite get over the whole "dissection" thing. 

The three other classes I'm taking are excellent also and on top of that I have my lab rotation(s). I say "rotation(s)" that because technically I am rotating in the Neurosurgery lab right now but I'm also still working in the Health, Brain and Cognition Lab because before too long I am going to be back there for good! The really exciting thing with work this past week was that I got to test out the app that our lab developed with the help of a local programming company. It's been a really interesting process to take what was first a real-life task, and then a computer-based task, and to put it on the iPad, with the hopes of making a sensitive, flexible tool that can be used to track certain cognitive abilities in clinical populations. I really enjoy thinking about the fact that technologies that I will probably be working with down the road in my career, probably aren't even invented yet. I mean, even when I was applying for grad schools I didn't expect to be working with an iPad for cognitive testing. Just another reason I am really grateful for this job. It always surprises me. Which is incidentally a quality I like in people too :) 

So the busy-ness is mostly what has kept me from writing for awhile. But don't worry, that doesn't mean I have forgotten about you. I've actually been reminiscing quite a lot lately about how glad I am to have this blog, and how grateful I am that people read it. And even if people didn't read it....I'd probably still write. Because it is really a good chance for me to slow down and just think about life. Which is a quality I find is often overlooked in this day and age of constant productivity (which often actually means mindless-wandering around the internet). I really think we need to spend more time just thinking about our lives (because it often makes us more grateful for even the little things) and less time wishing things were different, more exciting, less stressful, more elegant, ect ect.  

On a totally different note, because I need to wrap this up soon or I might lose all of my audience to boredom, here is my latest and greatest news. In just a few months I get to, once again, be an American in Europe, trying not to look like an American in Europe. 

AND I CAN'T WAIT! (was that too excitable?)

One of my best friends that I've known since my summer in Iowa City, has been planning to take a trip to Europe before his life gets swallowed up by med school (and I mean that in the best way, because he's going to be great in med school! But it will legit swallow most of his life). He actually studied abroad in Denmark the semester before I did so we both have host families to stay with and a deep desire to be back there. We've joked for awhile about going to Europe together but ever since the idea was first implanted as a tiny seed in my brain, it's turned into more of an obsession. Finally, after a lot of logical discussions with myself in my head (and after getting enthusiastic approval from my really awesome boss) I decided I needed to join him on his adventure. I just couldn't pass up a chance to travel to incredible places with one of my best friends. I just really hope 2 weeks with me will be as fun as he thinks it will be. I honestly do think we will be excellent travel buddies because we get along really well and we basically never run out of things to talk about. So that will be helpful for our multiple long train rides together...through the Swiss Alps. And the Italian Riviera. Ok I will stop bragging. for now. But be prepared to hear more as the plans become more concrete in a few weeks :)

I have all kinds of other things to say but my cognitive neuroscience paper on "The Mind and Brain of Short-Term Memory" is just begging to be read. And how can I say no to a title like that? 

Before I sign off I have to share with you a few of my favorite songs of this past week. I'm no music expert. Or even aficionado. I have the enthusiasm but not the extensive knowledge yet. But nonetheless I'm going to share what I like because you might enjoy it too. And dancing to this kind of music is one of the things that has made me really happy lately (not to mention, it is fulfilling my #1 resolution of 2013! --which was to swing, swing, swing dance more :)

I love being here with you - Ella Fitzgerald

Straighten up and fly right -Nat King Cole

Suzy - Caravan Palace  (I've been all about the electro-swing lately. It really gets me out of bed quickly...and keeps me dancing while I get ready)

Be prepared, there will be more in future posts. I'm obsessed with everything swing, jazz or blues right now. And with clothing from the 20s-40s eras. 

Tak for reading! hej hej 

My job/work/school/life

My first class of the new semester starts on Tuesday and I have a strong desire to write at least one intriguing post about science-y things now, because it feels as though I've not written about that in awhile, and I might not get much of a chance once classes get rolling. It's strange that I don't actually write about science that much because it's a bigger part of my life than most other things I write about. Except my family. Nothing is a bigger part of my life than them.

I think I'll just give you a brief run-down of what I do at work/school because I realize most people don't exactly know what 'being in grad school' entails. And honestly, it can be something very different for each student. And then if I'm inspired to venture out to more topics after this, I will, but probably not in this post.

Currently I am rotating in the Neurosurgery clinic, under the direction of Dr. Matt Howard, at the University of Iowa hospital. In my grad program, students do 3 rotations in different labs in their first year to get a feel of research in different areas and then by summertime they usually choose a lab/are offered a real position in a lab. And that becomes "their lab."  Well, for me it's a little different because, I have to be honest, I came to Iowa specifically to work in Dr. Michelle Voss's lab. She came from University of Illinois, which was my #1 grad school choice because I loved the work from the lab she was a part of. And her new lab here is perfect for me. It's the Health, Brain and Cognition Lab and we use a variety of techniques to delve into the effects of exercise on the brain and how we can use exercise to maximize our cognitive abilities. We are specifically interested in exercise's effects during the aging process into older adulthood, which is a huge issue right now as the proportion of adults over 65 is increasing at a very fast rate. Ultimately, we'd like to find the best ways to slow the aging of the brain and capitalize on the abilities of the brain throughout all of life.

So while the overarching theme of my "job" is to work in that lab, I am now doing a second rotation in the Neurosurgery clinic so I can learn the ropes there and understand how to interact with patients because one of the projects I'm working on is a collaborative effort between Michelle's lab and Neurosurgery and I will eventually be interacting with patients (in a research sense. I won't be treating them or anything). As a student in this lab, I attend meetings at 7 am Monday and Wednesday and then spend the day either learning new techniques from other people in the lab or reading and working on projects on my own. I have to read a lot of papers that explain techniques I don't yet know or that discuss new theories that we can incorporate into our research. I often have to compare across papers to get a broader idea of the research topic and compile the important pieces into arguments or outlines. I'm also currently learning how to analyze fMRI data (an imaging technique) and developing an iPad app that is a cognitive test we'll be able to use with patients. So that has been a great experience so far- I'm learning a lot about technology and I realize that sometimes it's my friend. And sometimes it's really not.

Basically all of this means that my time is split between the two labs, in a rather independent fashion (meaning go where I need to be when I need to be there and the rest of the time work on my own) which is awesome sometimes and overwhelming and uncomfortable other times. Freedom is great, but it can be frustrating because it requires me to actively plan my day so that I can get as much done as possible, without other people guiding me at all times. Honestly I think that's the aspect of my job that has helped me grow the most so far. Because as it turns out, in life, people don't tell you exactly what to do every second! Who would've guessed that?? (probably all of you because you've already discovered it and I'm the one at the back of the pack)

Anywho, my new classes will all start within the next two weeks so my days will be full of running around to classes, studying for said classes and working in lab when I have the chance.  I think it's going to be a crazy and very exciting semester.  Here's the list of classes I'll be taking:

Medical Neuroscience (it's a med school class...eeeeekkk!!)
Topics in Cognitive Neuroscience (focusing specifically on memory. Heck yes!)
Seminar: Cognitive Psychology (this class will teach me a few programs that we often use for designing experiments. So I'm psyched for that. Psyched. Get it? Yeah, I'm hilarious, just accept it ;)
Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI, the functional imaging technique we use in our lab a lot, meaning this course will be directly applicable to my research. Again, heck yes)
And then a weekly seminar course for our program...during which I will have to, probably during spring, give a presentation on my rotation. I'll admit it, I'm a nerd....because I'm kind of really looking forward to giving that presentation :)

Now I really better get to bed or I might fall asleep during that 7 am meeting tomorrow!

At some point, I'll be writing a post that is basically a bunch of musings inspired by this great book I just finished called The Happiness Hypothesis. Now that was a feel-good popular psychology book if I've ever read one. And I have. I've read a lot of them.

Until then......tak for reading!

Taking a risk. Don't make me regret it.

Here's a warning, what's coming up is embarrassing. For me. But it's really too good not to share. I trust all of you with take it in good humor and not hold the lame-ness of past Rachel against present or future Rachel.

I'm home this weekend and was lucky enough to stumble upon this fancy green journal that I write in about once a year. I don't purposely write on the exact same day but the yearly entry usually occurs right before I go to school in August or January. So basically right now. This journal is kind of awesome because there are only about 8 entries and yet it contains so much of my life. I re-read all of the entries every time I find it, of course. And I'm thoroughly enjoying some of the ridiculous things past me has said. Most of it is about school and how in my wildest dreams I get to do research with "exercise, mice, cognitive functions?? something like that!" And what do you know...that's what I do now! (minus the mice)

Anyway, the real part that I just have to share is this juicy tidbit, which was written in Aug. 2010, a few months after my long-term relationship had ended and I was enjoying the single life again.  Seriously, don't judge. But you may laugh. And yes, it's directed to a future boy. I guess I'm an optimist.

*insert paragraph of partially-insightful comments on life and love and being independent*

"So boy...wherever you are right now...know that I am looking forward to meeting you. But for the time being, I'm riding solo (remember that song?...it's a big hit right now) and I'm loving it."

Oh past Rachel, you crack me up. Thanks for that.

Along those lines...here's another good story for the books. My mom told me the other day that she was cleaning out our beautiful big desk and she found some old Clark Christmas letters. While reading through them she found this:
(I'm paraphrasing....I haven't read the actual letter yet. It's hidden amongst the Christmas decorations currently.)
"Rachel is now in first grade. She has quite the personality. She came home on the first day of school and said 'Mom, I'm having boy problems.'  We said, 'Oh really? What's going on, Rachel?'
She replied "Ryan keeps trying to kiss me and he won't stop calling me hot lips!!"

I don't quite know why I was so distraught about this situation. Apparently I thought 'hot lips' was an insult?  Anyway, all of our family and friends were privileged enough to hear that story so I thought I better entertain you with it as well.

Happy Saturday night :)

Paying for pain. Or art. Or both.

I guess it was last fall that I started thinking about getting this tattoo. Prior to that I never really pictured myself actively seeking out someone to stick me with a needle...multiple times. And if I ever did, I imagined the result would be a really cool looking dinosaur or neuron (neither of which are totally out of the question, by the way), but here I am...23-years old and I just let some guy ink my foot...nay, I paid some guy to ink my foot. And I'm not at all upset about it.  Actually, it feels very normal now to have it be a part of me.

The tat:
It's the danish phrase "mine helte", which means my heroes, and in between the two words is an infinity sign. Originally I wanted my last name somewhere in the tattoo as well (I'll straight up admit I love my last name and it seemed like a really good way to connect to that part of my family), but that was all a little too complicated for the size I wanted so I simplified it.

The backstory:
When I was in Denmark I sent some postcards home to my family. One of them was a picture of a dad, decked out in a normal business suit and a tie....and a cape. And he was flying. Hence, he was a super hero. It said
"fa, du er min helt."       =       "Dad, you are my hero."

Ok, I'll admit the original postcard was in swedish. Because I had bought it in Sweden. But Denmark is closer to my heart so I just switched it.

Initially I wanted that phrase, written into an infinity sign, because I always want to remember how he and his love transcend this life and even though we no longer have him here, he was, still is and always will be my hero.

Well, in the simplifying of the design I realized that I wanted it to be about my whole family, because I cannot express how much they mean to me and how grateful I am for the way we have all dealt with this year together.  So now the phrase is plural (my heroes) and my hope is that it will always remind me where my priorities lie--- with the people I love and doing things that will make them proud and show them I love them.

Every single time I've looked at my foot in the past few days (I had it done last Thursday) I've literally thought "holy *********, I have a tattoo!!"  But each time it makes me smile and I have to tell you, I didn't even cry while I was getting it!! I maybe did sweat a lot. Actually, yeah I really did sweat a lot. Mostly my hands. And the foot that was being inked. So that was weird. But I may have been trying to impress someone so I think that was what kept the tears at bay. I will say that it was a bit of an adrenaline rush...but don't take that to mean it didn't hurt. Because it did. It totally did.

And on another, and completely unrelated, note, I've already treated myself to a slightly ridiculous amount of new music this year. Maybe that should've been one of my resolutions: buy lots of awesome new music. Because then I'd feel not only totally justified but also really successful with how many songs I've bought on iTunes just this week. Here's one of my faves:  (it's from the soundtrack of a favorite movie as well)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JA25au7Itw

I have a few other amusing stories from this week but this is already a pretty action packed post so I'll leave it be for now.

Happy first full week of 2013 :)