On to my thoughtful post about happiness and trains. To get to school each day I take the form of public transportation called the S-tog. (Toget is the danish word for train). There are many different lines of the S-tog that go out to the different "fingers" of the Copenhagen suburbs. Little lesson in urban planning: In 1947, Copenhagen created this plan saying that as the city and suburbs grew, they would only develop along 5 fingers spreading out from the center "palm". The spaces in between the fingers are to stay green and provide agriculture and natural recreation land. The different lines of the S-tog travel along out the various fingers. I happen to take the A train northeast out towards Farum and I get off at a stop called Stengården (just in case you happen to be in the Copenhagen area and want to pay me a visit :) There is also the regional train that travels further out in different directions, one of which heads over to Sweden. That is the train I took when I visited Malmö for a day.
 |
| Copenhagen (city in dark purple and the fingers in lighter purple) |
The first few weeks when I rode the train I was like a little child staring out at a world full of candy. The sights were delicious to my eyes. I soaked in all the housing styles and the buildings and pretended to know what the signs meant when I honestly had no clue. However, the last week or two I have found myself dozing off into a light sleep most of the way from Stengården to Nørreport. This is not surprising for those of you who have ever been in a car with me and know that I start snoozing as soon as we pull out of the driveway (unless I'm driving, of course). But I certainly thought that the excitement of Denmark would overrule my desire to catch some zzz's. Apparently staying up late and getting up at 6 overrules even the excitement of Denmark sometimes. Nonetheless, for some reason, yesterday on the train I was not tired and spent the entire trip analyzing the motion of my body in conjunction with the train. (I realize this is a little odd, but stick with me and I promise I will have a point...and hopefully it will be a good one).
As the train is leaving the station is does start out slowly, but it picks up speed very quickly. Your body wants to stay in the place it was so as the train moves you feel yourself lurch a tiny bit and slowly lean back. When the speed picks up you can really notice the forces that are pressing you against the seat. When the acceleration stops you realize your body is moving the same speed as the train so you no longer feel like you are in the Silly Silo, being squished to the seat. (Silly Silo is/was a ride at Adventureland where you spin around really fast inside a large cyclinder with a bunch of other people and you literally get stuck to the wall. The floor even drops out from underneath you. It's pretty awesome). So when you are in the middle of the trip between stops you no longer feel the forces of the speeding train. You are at one with its motion. It feels perfectly normal to be moving that speed. As soon as the train begins to slow, however, your body is again out of sync with the motion and you feel your body slowly lean forward. Your body, of course, wants to continue moving the same speed but the contact between your butt (or feet) and the seat (or floor) won't let this happen. And if the slow-down happens quickly, you have to make sure your body doesn't lean so far forward that you end up on the floor instead of in the seat (I don't think the Danes would look very highly on anyone, especially an American, obnoxiously tumbling to the floor during their serious, quiet train ride).
What I find especially interesting is the feeling you get once it sounds like the train has stopped but you know this is not true because your body still feels like it is moving. It is not until that little moment where you body lurches forward and then back again that you know it has actually stopped. Sometimes this happens so inconspicuously you don't even notice it. Other times, however, it is almost unbearable to wait those 2 seconds between train "stopping" and train stopping. This is especially unpleasant when you are focusing all your brain power on the motion of your body, as I was yesterday. That lurching feeling is a type of resolution. And, like in a chord resolution, if you get through the entire motion (or song) but do not experience that last moment of resolving, the whole experience is sour. I feel uneasy and frustrated when I hum a little ditty in my head but something happens and I am unable to finish the section. My mind knows the beautiful finish is there and it just wants to reach it. In the same way, my body feels uneasy when it is suspended indefinitely in that slight forward lean on a nearly stopped train, waiting expectantly for that final stoppage (my apologies for the made up word. None others seemed to fit).
As I experienced this feeling over and over (there are at least 10 stops between Stengården and Nørreport) I began to make that into a metaphor for this study abroad experience. At the beginning it was like I was pressed up against something and feeling the strong force of the acceleration. No mater how much I prepared for the trip, I was still slightly shocked by being in another country and having to figure out how I wanted to make the most of these four months. The first few weeks seemed full of that feeling. I could feel everything around me speeding up while I was pressed to the seat of getting into the swing of classes and the everyday adventures of living in Copenhagen. It was like I couldn't quite keep up, mentally or physically with the speed of life. Thankfully, somewhere along the way (I'm not sure exactly where), I began to feel like I was moving with life, not like life was pulling me along. Classes happen every day, pastries happen nearly every day; I sleep, I eat, I learn as much as possible; I enjoy spending time with my family and my kitty and making fun plans with new found friends, and the days end up going by in wonderful blurs. Even though each day is separate and unique, they do flow into each other and make me wonder where the last 4 weeks have gone. This part of the journey is that middle, constant speed stage on the train. I will be in this stage for awhile (and not want it to end) but eventually I will begin to feel the impending slow down. I will know my time is coming to an end and my body will be displeased. It will want to keep moving forward while the ground under my feet tells me that can't happen. I might even lose my balance once or twice and have to grab the railing before bumping into the person in front of me. I think that this experience will not end when I leave Copenhagen on May 18th. When I return home I will still be in that expectant stage, waiting for the lurch so I can finally settle into the fact that the ride is over. I don't know how long that wait will be. I think that is the interesting part of it. I don't know when the reality of my experience will truly hit me. Maybe after I have been home two days. Maybe not until I go back to Knox in the fall. Maybe not until much later. But whenever it happens I think I will actually grasp all of the things that right now I am in the process of learning. All of the factual things (psychology theories, architectural types, urban designs, ect) but also all the social and cultural things (social welfare vs. the democracy of America, the amount of responsibility given to Danish children vs that of American children, the cozy concept of hygge, and so on and so forth...the list could go on and on), will be much more real and clear to me than they are right now. I have to experience them now to be able to analyze them later. And hopefully at some point I will feel that relief of resolution where I can see how the whole Denmark experience fits into and shapes my future life.
I do apologize that this blog was a little "out there" and maybe more philosophical than I should be, but hopefully you found it interesting. If you weren't able to empathize with the feelings I described, just head over to Copenhagen and take a few rides on the S-tog ;)
Oh! My title. I nearly forgot about that. The song Dog Days are Over by Florence and the Machine starts with the line "Happiness hit her, like a train on a track." I absolutely love that line (I love the whole song actually. If you have the chance you should definitely look it up on youtube. It's worth it. It might make you smile, although the video itself is pretty strange.)
I do think that is a good description for how happiness often works. We can go through an experience and not realize how we feel about it until suddenly something makes us sit up and notice how good we have it and how many little things there are to be happy about. It can come as a shocking wave of realizing where you are and what is going on around you (I still sometimes say to myself 'Holy cow, I am in Denmark!') or it can creep into your mind almost unnoticed until you feel a wave of warm happiness that seems to have magically appeared out of nowhere.
I have gotten somewhat off track (no pun intended, ha), so I think I will wrap it up before I derail (ok that one was intended). But before I do, I have to switch gears (oh man I am too funny :P ) and say a huge thank you to my St. Luke family. Yesterday I received a package from my church in Newton. I opened it up to find my prayer shawl, which I received from them when I graduated high school. Situated on and in and under the shawl where tons of notes and letters from the people at church. I could hardly believe it. I was so happy and felt so loved when I saw those. I want to read them all right now but I'm trying to spread them out so they last a long time. Thank you all so much- I can't quite explain how wonderful that was to receive. I'm actually snuggled in the prayer shawl right now since it's still a little chilly from me leaving my windows open earlier today. Tusind tak, St. Luke. I love you all :)
And on a final note, I am thrilled to be heading to Milan early tomorrow morning for a study tour with my positive psych class! We will be going on academic tours, but also experiencing some cultural events (such as a group wine tasting and a tour of Lake Como, where George Clooney has a house!) and we will also have time to explore the city on our own. I can't wait to tell you all about it!
Vi ses i fredag Copenhagen (see you on Friday cph). Hej hej!
Dog days are Over: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWOyfLBYtuU Enjoy :)
No comments:
Post a Comment