Let's stand up to cancer...and laugh at Rachel! #4

So this embarrassing story is a bit overdue. Thank you for your patience! Especially you Aunt Liza ;) And thanks for the donation!!

Tonight I will be writing about some other people besides myself and since their names are necessary for the story, I will be using fake names. Meet Shane and Fayne. These are names of people from my past but not the people in the story. These names just work well because they rhyme. And the real names rhyme. So it'll help me write the story.

Ok, enjoy! This story is mainly going to be an interaction between Shane and myself. Picture this:

It's the middle of winter at the beginning of 2013 and classes haven't started yet. And I'm throwing a party. It's a Friday evening. I spent all afternoon making food, cleaning and generally making the whole apartment look awesome. I've invited everyone in my neuro cohort, as well as some other friends. A few of my friends arrive together and we start eating and listening to music and talking about winter break (also known as "time in the lab with no classes!"). My friend Frank arrives and tells me one of his other friends, Shane, will be showing up soon. I know Shane from just a few brief interactions. Shane is tall, quiet and very nice. He's a med student and probably a few years older than me. Now, let me set up this story by saying that there is another person named Fayne. I know Fayne through Frank as well, as Fayne came to some study sessions for my neurobiology class in the fall. Fayne is younger than me, about my height and maybe slightly more annoying than Shane (who is not annoying at all).

So, Frank says to me: Shane is just about here. Would you mind letting him in downstairs?

Me: Not at all! I'll go get him.

And I rush downstairs.

Now, I have no excuse for what happened next except for pretty poor memory for the whole face/name connection thing, as well as a basic inability to remember any context for where I met people. So, in my mind- I am picturing Fayne. The much shorter undergrad. I know that I'm looking for someone named Shane but I'm picturing Fayne. And for whatever reason, I have no doubts about who this person is. I just had it set in my head that the person whose real name is Fayne....was Shane. You follow?

So, when I get downstairs, Shane (the actual Shane) is standing a little ways away from the door. Remember, I've only met him once or twice and very briefly. He sees me and says, Hi!

I say: Hi!
I definitely recognize him but the thought has not even crossed my mind at this point that this is who I went downstairs to retrieve.

He says: I'm Frank's friend.

I think: Cool! Frank invited more friends. But I'm not about to tell him I don't know his name.

I say: Yeah! I remember! I'm so glad you came! 

I am standing with the door open and it's winter so he walks inside the building.

I explain to him: Oh I'm just waiting for Shane. 

No reaction.

I continue: Shane's not here yet. We'll just wait for him and then go upstairs. 

The actual Shane...whose name I don't remember...who is standing right in front of me says: Oh. Ok 

And then he walks through the door back outside.

We stand there for a second (which actually felt like at least 45 minutes) and start to make small talk. It's winter. I'm holding the door open. While waiting for Shane. Who is standing right there. Whose name I still don't know.

The Shane I'm picturing doesn't show up. The real Shane and I hadn't been talking long when either I let it slip that I couldn't remember his name or he asks me mine and then I ask his.....whichever way it happened, soon Shane says: Oh, my name is Shane.

Cue dawn of realization.

Oh.

Uh oh.

I say...hopefully without too much of a super awkward pause: Ok then. We can go upstairs now. 

And up we go. And we talk about all kinds of things while walking up the stairs, anything besides the fact that I just made a total fool of myself. To this day, I don't know if Shane understands exactly what happened. I think he maybe does and he is just far too nice to embarrass me. So he never let on. He didn't even act like anything weird happened.

I played it cool the whole night. No, I did not get these two very different people mixed up just because their names rhyme. No, I did not act like I knew Shane's name when in fact I definitely did not know it. No, I did not refer to Shane in the third person, when he was right there, and say that Shane had not arrived yet.

Oh wait, yes I did.

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Reminder- only one more week until Relay for Life!! If you want to donate (any amount!! Even $1!!) go to this page and donate and then I will tell you all another embarrassing story!

Thanks :)

Let's stand up to cancer...and laugh at Rachel! #3

I got another donation! Henceforth there shall be more embarrassment. Now...which story shall I tell?

The fake cockroach?

The REAL cockroach?

Getting lost and driving in circles in Peoria?

Getting "locked in" the park in Nice, France after dusk and all the French kids could say was "no. no....it's closed!" Oh and they could laugh.



Definitely the real cockroach one.

So this experience occurred only a few weeks ago (surprised that, even at this age, I still embarrass myself? Yeah, me too). Late one night, after both my roommates had gone to sleep, I finished up some work and headed for my bedroom. As I hit the doorway, I spotted something on the floor that made my stomach leap to my throat (I have a pretty large startle reflex). A giant cockroach. And I mean giant!! It would've been at least the length of my pinky finger...had I gotten closer enough to make that kind of comparison.

I was freaking out. The roach was close to underneath my bed, near some shoes, so I did not know what to do. I didn't want to scare it because then it would scram into the wilderness under the bed and I would never find it. Or it would crawl into my bed and eat me at night!! So by this point I had called Michael for moral support and also put on my roommate's super tall, very bright yellow rain boots. I am standing guard at my bedroom door, clad in unmatching pajamas with doubly unmatching rain boots, telling Michael I seriously do not know what to do. I can't kill it because I can't get close enough. Plus, it's huge!! I can't put something over it because I am not about to set one foot inside the doorway. And what would I do anyway, with a bowl that's covering a cockroach just handing out on the floor near my bed. No way would I even sleep in the same room as it. I took a picture and send it to Michael to assure him that this thing was huge and I was only partially overreacting. I think he agreed, although he was pretty sure he could have taken care of it for me had it been here.

I was pacing back and forth between my room and the kitchen (quite loudly, apparently), trembling in my rain boots (well, Lauren's rain boots), not sure if I should call the police or the SWAT team. Or at least my friend Jayson. I figured he'd know what to do with it.

I was still on the phone with Michael, convinced I was either going to have to be incredibly brave and take a literal stab at it or totally wimp out and call someone.

As I stared at the horrible huge insect, I had a passing thought that maybe it wasn't a cockroach. In an instant I realized it might actually be a feather. I realized that I did in fact have these interesting blueish/blackish feathers from the mask I made for the burlesque dance I was in....the roach was kind of the same shape as the feathers. And about the right size.

Regardless of this very rational thought, I still couldn't bring myself to actually go into my room.

My ensuing thought process:

It might be a feather.

No.

Definitely a cockroach.

A horrible cockroach!!

Or maybe a feather.

Ok, it's probably a feather.

Definitely a feather.

But it still could maybe be a cockroach? 

I finally got close enough to see that yes, it was in fact a feather. It still took me 10 minutes to get close enough to poke it with a pencil. And then I finally took the rain boots off. And then I eventually, probably 30 minutes after the whole ordeal started, picked up the feather cockroach and threw it away.

I suppose I wasn't actually embarrassed in front of anyone except Michael. And the SWAT team I almost called.

And now all of you.


Oh wait, that was the fake cockroach story after all ;) Hope you enjoyed it!